Faire la bise

Ok, this is something I've been meaning to write about for some time now.  "Faire la bise" refers to the way the French people greet one another by kissing on the cheek.  This can be extremely intimidating for Americans who are quite content to greet each other with a quick wave or handshake and a "Hey!"...But not the French...

I'm still learning the etiquette involved, but I've got the general concept down by now. I never initiate the greeting since I'm not yet completely familiar with all the "rules", but at least I can now respond appropriately when someone leans in for the kiss. My only problem comes along with the logistics of commencing the kisses and answering the "Ça va?" question all at the same time.  What usually ends up happening is that there is a long pause between the question and my "Oui, ça va" response because I don't want to talk right in their face.  I don't know if that will ever stop being awkward. haha.

The number of kisses depends on the region of France you're in.  One of my profs said that as a general rule, if you're north of the Loire, it's 2 kisses....but if you're south of the Loire, it's 4 kisses.   BUT, I know that in certain regions, like Provence, you do three kisses.  If you've been paying attention to my past blogs, you'll know that Nantes is ON the Loire River.  From my experience, most people in Nantes "font la bise" with two kisses, though I have witnessed people that do 4.  Basically, I just go along with whoever has initiated the greeting.

Since the majority of my friends are foreigners, I really don't "fais la bise" during the week.  The weekend, however, is a different story.  I go to a Baptist church on Sundays, and I know now to expect to faire la bise several times every week.  If I've met somebody once, they generally initiate it...Even people I've never met before do it, and I've learned to just go along with it. Then, when church is over, you begin all over again before leaving.

Not greeting someone this way can be considered very rude.  Kids here are taught from a very young age to faire la bise...I've heard little girl about 4 years old say, "On fait la bise?" when she saw others doing it, and wanted to be included.   Also, if you go into a party at a friend's house, you have to "faire la bise" with everyone before resuming party like fun....Even if there are 15 people and you only know a couple of them, you have to go to each individual person and greet them.  Ok, so if there are 15 people and you're in a region of France where you do 4 kisses... That's 60 kisses, people... I notice a lot of this on the trams too.  Even if they're blocking the door, a group of teens will take the time to kiss every other person in the group before getting off.  It can be quite the nuisance when they're standing between me and the exit.  

Now that I've gotten the hang of it, I don't feel as awkward with this part of French culture.  I have to say, though, I find hugs to be much more meaningful, and I really miss them!  Don't go feeling sorry for me because I said I missed hugs....I only have a little over a month left abroad, and I'm sure I'll get plenty of hugs when I'm back in the states. :)  Until then, I guess I'll have to faire la bise comme les français.  À plus tard!